Monday 15 November 2010

Ode to you



This post is for you...the one who is passing through some horrible times at the moment....let face it: in fact they are hell on earth and are
THE most horrible times for you!!!


You are lost, confused, hurt, disappointed, alone, sad, depressed, useless, tired, wasted........you will prefer to disappear or to wake up and understand it was all a bad dream. Yet this is not happening, you are not waking up because ironically this is the reality and you don’t disappear, you are not in the hell even if maybe will be better to be dead but you can’t make it!

The past is hunting you...the happiness you had and that all of a sudden vanished! You don’t know why, why you had to live what you lived, why everything happened they way it did, why he could do all those horrible torturing things! You were the happiest in your whole life, you had started a new life in a new place with new plans, you trusted and loved with all your hurt, you invested all your emotions and dreams....and you felt that he did the same..... the past is hunting you but what a tragedy, he is not 2 people but only 1 that maybe didn’t actually loved you the way you believed....or maybe he did ...nobody knows, or at least you don’t know....the facts are that your heart is bleeding and dying and somebody in other part of the world doesn’t even realise it and doesn’t have any signs of regret ...can love do this? Can life do this? Can life or love betray you just like that???? Stupid questions....they already did...fuck your live, it doesn’t deserve you! How can you become from somebody's angel a devil in one night???? How come?

The empty words of the people around you that are claiming that everything will be ok, everything is happening with a reason, just wait and see are USELESS and not only that, are empty, heart less- there is no sense now isn’t? So fuck all the sense and the good that will come...is no going to make you feel better now, no?

Fuck all of those that are scared to face a bad time of their “friends”, that are coming automatically with solutions that are not requested (get a new job, travel, work, go to therapy, don’t stay alone, bla, bla, bla) and that are having the impression that if you don’t cry every second that means you are handling everything quite ok!!! Get away from them, from all those advices and solutions....run away from them and just live what you feel like, cry all the day, don’t call anybody, don’t speak with anybody, watch all the day movies, eat junk food, drink until you forget all, stay at home all the day, don’t go out, again cry specially when you hear all those love songs that had a different meaning for you, talk with people that seems to get you, cry to them as well, write it down, GET EVERYTHING OUT!!! Otherwise it will hunt you anyway in a way or another!!! Don’t hide anything inside, live all that pain that you feel even if hurting like hell....live the pain and don’t focus on the meaning!!! When you are in pains there is no meaning for that except the fact that is another sign that life sucks big time!!!!

This post is for you, I will get all your tears out of you so you can’t sink in them!!!

Tuesday 21 September 2010

Image Theatre-World Youth Congress

This summer I had the chance to participate in 5th World Youth Congress and I also delivered a workshop on Image Theatre.

It was for the first time I worked with a group of participants from almost all the continents and the most challenging aspect was to work specifically on social problems because the perspectives , opinions on them are so various and different– especially if we were trying to find solution and to speak about their realism and possibility to be applied in their reality – when we talk about state, NGO, or even people role in the society here my participants came with so many different realities that made the discussions so hot and so lively and with no specific conclusion that fits each of them. (we approached problems of discrimination, corruption and domestic violence).

I don’t have pictures or material form that specific workshop but I have from second day where I had to present the method of Image Theatre to others educator in the field.

Here is a short movie about it.



Thursday 2 September 2010

African Experience - Personal Opinions











In July this year I participated in The Second African University on Youth and Development for the second part of the LTTC for Trainers in Euro-Africa Cooperation. It took place in Cabo Verde which is a group of islands in West Africa (closes country Senegal).

Based on my not so wide experience in Africa I dare still to make a comparative observation based on my time spent in 2 African countries (Ivory Coast and Cabo Verde). In both of these countries my experience didn’t limit at the time during the trainings or the programmed offered by the organizers – I spend extra days for exploring the local culture as much as possible.

  • Cabo Verde it was a group of unhabitated islands discovered by Portuguese around 500 years ago. After that they were populated with slaves from other parts of Africa and Portuguese colonizers – so technically they kind build this country and the culture is a mix of various African routes and Portuguese; they are proud of getting their so called independency 30 years ago but from my point of view it should be understood like a baby that get older enough to take care of him self so is cutting the ties with his parents and moving out of the house. In what matter Ivory Coast the situation of course is different being a country with a huge and long history behind, with a real occupation and colonization (by French) and with a real fight for independence and various struggles afterwards.
  • I mentioned the previous point because this historical aspects are reflecting in the culture of the people, of the place : in Ivory Coast I saw culture specificity (in clothes, in architecture, in hand crafts, in foods, music, etc) but in Cabo Verde I saw a brother of Portuguese (a bit more exotic) – no specific architecture, hand crafts, food , BUT they do have their music –about they are very proud)
  • I saw Cabo Verde as a expensive country and also as a more rich African Country, moving beyond the cliché that they want to play as victims of poverty it is a lot of richness in the country and I am not absolute at all (don’t take me wrong) – in Praia (the capital city) i don’t think you see less than 90% of 4x4 types of cars! between the islands are no so often passengers ships but daily are flights (that are not at all cheep) and seems that are quite popular; Products are expensive (but mainly because 90% of it are imported) and seems that human services look more cheep; food is expensive (even if is based on the fish around their own coast) and as tourist be ready to pay quite a lot for accommodation, travel to various touristic places and food.
  • Ivory Coast is indeed cheaper and being in land is easier to have mobility in various parts of the country or remote villages. The nature and wild life is bigger but in the same time is not so easy to access it (because of human activity and consuming behaviour) seems that the “nature and animals” are escaping from people.
  • Cabo Verde is not at all Verde (Which means green) is actually a very dry place and with a very dry colour.
  • In Cabo Verde there are many whites people, also the type of colour skins is more lither so for a white person in this country it will not be a very strong experience of “zoo” feeling. Also the begging is not spread so not too much hassling is happening.
  • In Ivory Coast to be a white and as I was travelling as a single white women (no guide, no group) was socking many and putting me on spot just by being in same buses. Because of late civil war the security at the moment I think it was high (army check points very often) the people perception was that is still dangerous for white people – so basically most of them were scaring me by saying that is a very dangerous place to be (one time a women came with me all the way until hotel to be sure I am fine, another guy from the hotel was my unwanted escort for all my travels in that region), people were asking for taxi or bus drivers numbers so they can follow my track ....etc well it didn’t happen anything to me but in the same time to travel all the time with the fear that people were giving me is not very fun and enjoyable either (of course I was really wondering if is a dangerous place or not after all);
  • I saw Ivoirians as nice, friendly and more humble people and I saw Cabo Verdean as more of proud, arrogant and with a more high self esteem and Cabo Verdean strong identity; at least from this point of view they are keeping their more keen to keep their own language (Creole) then Ivoirians that are using mainly French;
  • In Ivory Coast I almost didn’t see any promotional materials for the country (like t-short, key rings, hats, magnets, etc) but in Cabo Verde I think they were in every shop and corner in a high diversity and options!

Over all my experience in Ivory Coast was more reach in culture contact, observation and closure to the local reality then in Cabo Verde. Maybe I am easily “judging” the Cabo Verdean reality because it was not so easy to move around on all the islands but after all this is what it is a personal impression based on my not so wide experience in 2 African Countries.

Sunday 25 July 2010

Forum Theatre multipliers






In the last years I delivered quite a big number of trainings in Forum Theatre either for introducing the method, developing skills in using it or for multiplying it (both nationally and internationally) and with each learning process that I am leading in this subject I am growing more and more.

I had many roles in what matters a Forum Theatre Project (actor, joker, coordinator, evaluator, facilitator, trainer, etc) and as a Trainer my main target is to motivate my participants to believe in the impact of the method and use for making a change in the society.

Usually I handle with 2 types of participants and various reactions:

  • Participants that are getting really into the method as multipliers, actually in using the method in a short time (youth workers –new or older in the field – the older one are more courageous and ambitious; trainers/ facilitators – many of them wants to be just trainers in the method without actually working in the field with it – which is a huge error and I am paying attention to them; volunteers with big dedication to social work and change;
  • Participants that even if they like the method they will not actually going to use it (volunteers – new or older that they are not ready to take big responsibilities – they need a support group in their organization that will lead them; “training tourists” – they are coming for other reasons not for changing the society – but they enjoy the process; busy people – working already in too many projects and areas , even if they have the capacity they will not use it because of time and personal availability) ;
  • There is also another group of participants that is not liking the method (which usually is much smaller than the others) because they suspect it of manipulation, to heavy, easy to lead to conflicts or violence, not having a real impact, etc (these people stigmatize the method without actually giving it a chance and without trusting other workers in the field : usually they are the people that know already everything)


Recently I delivered with my colleague from A.R.T. Fusion a training in Ireland for various volunteers and youth workers across Europe. The energy of the group was huge and the motivational vibe of them was quite strong in the last day of the training.
After the training some of the motivated people started to use it and share their experience with the others. Some of the people that were about to use it are felling that the time is passing and they are falling in the second category (they are sharing to me this feelings); Some of them think already they know so much they can do a training by themselves (as I was telling before).....


Where I want to go with this post? Well I am trying to underline the role of the trainer AFTER the training!!! He has to manage, feed and motivate the energy and the motivation of the fresh new babies Forum Theatre multipliers in order to make sure they will be able to manage. I am writing this because many of my colleagues don’t do it and they are feeding their self esteem as trainers based on the strong feeling and motivation that the participants have in the last days of the training- which is wrong and selfish!!!


In all of my trainings besides the post training work, coaching and motivational work that I am doing I am strongly underlining my help and my availability any time after the training when they have a questions, need some support or want to share to write to me; i want to make them secure and having a support in exactly the person that wanted to developed them some skills!!!


So....Forum Theatre Multipliers...don’t forget your mission and keep on going in changing the world in witch we are living!!!