Thursday 31 January 2008

Ode to Tartu

The last new city I was in, was Tartu from Estonia in January.

After you travel for a while you become pickier in what matters appreciating special and beautiful towns (at least me I know that without realizing I raised the level of this kind of evaluation and a new city to impress me had to “work” hard :)

Well knowing how picky I’m, I went in Tartu open as always but without expecting something special and I was so surprised!

This post is for this little town that impressed me as no other place did before! The wooden town was magical, I feel that I walk on the streets of 18th century; the autumn atmosphere and some fog really put me on that time, I was like in a black and white movie and the few people that ware on the streets fit perfectly (they lack just the proper clothes).

I walked hours in that wooden town,(I also lived in one of this houses) and I just can’t had enough, I think I waited to see how the movie will go :) feeling that I was the main character… one that is walking to put the thoughts in a order and to heal the agitated heart, to put some peace in the soul and to feel good about what will happened next, not pain, not guilty …just peace that is this the direction she has to follow.

Thank you Tartu for being the right “stage” for that character, thank you Nele for being one of the people that give me the support I need it.

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”(H. Thurman)

I have 24 years and I decided to go by my own in the world…to travel around this globe, slowly, step by step giving me time to explore, to know people, to been in different situations, to test my limits, to do stuff and work what I cannot do here, to go inside of me as otherwise I will not do it, to feel what I’m not able now feel, to search and to find, to ask and to answer …to be on total disposal of LIFE with everything she will give me because i decided to TRUST Life.

I had to leave everything behind, my friends, my family, my work…my perspectives and opportunities here in Romania; being surrounded by people that in fact want more to keep me here then to realise this dream was harder then expected. Basically I took part to my own “funereal” here and only when I will be on the road I will be released :)

Today I will start…..

Still I have a strange sensation …is weird and indefinable what I feel and experience this days. I’m changing my life and the main thing is that I can’t even anticipate what is going to happen with me…..and this of course is making me feel fear, spicy, agitation….challenged.

This dream is in ME from a long long time, the thirst for this big and huge world is so strong and combined with my already big passion for human been “forced” me to do that. Romania wasn’t not enough anymore….to feel that I live in a spot make me realise that is just a spot what I can experience and also what I can do- is so much there that is calling me and I go for it.

I love the people that are around me, I love A.R.T. Fusion and what we build there, I love my cats ….I love my life in the way I create it…BUT the thirst and the calling are so strong and loud that made me “die” slowly …so I choose ME and leave!

I don’t know how I will change; I don’t know how YOU will change, and how these changes will affect our relation …..we have to see it and be ready to be surprised.